Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Things I would like to say to customers

1) Like I give a fuck.
2) Wow, I thought they stopped selling that perfume 10 years ago.
3) Could you please go now?
4) What job exists that will pay someone as stupid as you so much money, and are they hiring?
5) I just farted.
6) You'd be amazed what brushing your teeth will do for their appearance.
7) I'm sorry you got sent all over the store. Actually, no I'm not, we all thought it would be funny and wanted to see if you'd cry.
8) You should know upfront that I don't know where anything in the store is or what it does. Even the toilets.
9) That's gonna be one ugly baby (to pregnant women and their deformed husbands/boyfriends).
10) If I had as much power to change things at this store as you seem to believe, I wouldn't be standing here listening to you bitch right now.
11) I have no idea what you're talking about.
12) Please look away while I memorize your credit card number.
13) Is the rest of your house as ugly as the shit you bought today?
14) Is $1.50 worth bitch-fighting me?
15) I think there's a dead rat in your blowout mall bangs.

I also interviewed at a department store for a makeup counter job. A different mall store than the one with the walkie-talkie lady. It was an actual full interview, and the lady who interviewed me was refreshingly honest. She seemed impressed with my performance and promised me a second interview with a lady whose name now escapes me.
It may be more trying than my current job, which isn't really as bad as I make it out to be, and should pay more. I was thinking about keeping them both but I don't know whether that would result in death (two jobs where I'm on my feet all day). I have to remind myself that when I was a reporter I usually worked 50 hours a week at a much harder job, so 60 at two relatively unchallenging jobs ought to be manageable.

The whole temping thing is basically in the can. I keep getting calls from my diet-pill-addicted account manager telling me about temp-to-hire jobs in Iowa that pay $8 an hour. I'm sorry, but what is the point of that? I'll stay on the list or whatever and see if anything good pops up but I'm thinking I'll need to try a different avenue.

I'm adjusting a little better to the state of things. I keep thinking about how small my life seems now, but maybe that's what I need. A year of blending in and being part of the teeming mass.

I think also that the proliferation of these types of blogs (educated people working odd jobs) suggests a little something disturbing about our economy. Part of it is choice, yes, to abstain from certain lines of work. But part of it is also that we're educating people with the promise that that education is their route to gainful employment. I believe in education for the sake of education as a concept, but like stay-at-home parenting, this type of existence has become impossible to afford. But what else is new.

I'm trying not to get too worked up about my financial situation. It's bad, bad to the tune of 2/3 of my meager check was eaten by NSF fees upon entering my bank account, leaving a balance that is $100 short of my car payment. Plus my other bills. I just have to stick with it I guess, and try to see a light at the end of the tunnel.


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