Thursday, June 09, 2005

This is a mighty fine explanation of why people need to quit bitching every time they act as consumers.

This whole cashiering thing does not pay well. I knew this going into it, and shockingly, it does pay better than my waitressing job. However, it was not to be my only job.

Ideally, I should have some sort of mindless data-entry, phone answering, smiley fuck day job now. I signed up with a temp agency about two months ago. My "account manager" is a bubbly 20-year-old we'll call Jilly who likes to "touch base" and "match [me] with job opportunities."

I tried to explain to Jilly that all I want from her is a temp job that pays $9+ an hour and is full time, Monday through Friday, nine to five, clerical. That to me sounds like temping in a nutshell, but what the fuck do I know?

Not to toot my own horn, but I don't know how many people in this relatively small metro area are signed up with this temp agency with a journalism degree, computer literacy, ability to type, customer service experience, at least three blazers and a goddamn working car. I think that puts me in a pretty small group. But apparently I am unqualified for any of their highly demanding letter-writing and shit-filing jobs.

Here is a typical phone interaction with Jilly.

PerennialFailure: Hello?
Jilly: Hi! Is (PerennialFailure) there?
PF: This is she. [It's my fucking cell phone. Who else would answer?]
J: Hi! This is Jilly from Shitass Temp Hole. [A fact I had already gathered, because as discussed, as I told Jilly, as one might gather from the fact that it is a long distance number, she is calling me on my cell phone.] Are you still looking for work?
PF: I am still looking for temporary clerical work during the day, yes.
J: OK, well I have a job possibility that may be a match for you here. It's temp-to-hire, in (a city that is in the next state), at a mailroom for a slaughterhouse, some clerical, some janitorial, a little bit of sausage casing. It's from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and you need to wear a suit. What do you think? [All of this is spoken the way an idiot speaks to someone who does not understand English.]
PF: [Ever hopeful.] What does it pay?
J: Seven dollars per hour.
PF: I make more than that at (home improvement behemoth).
J: Well, would you like me to send them a resume?
PF: Yes please.

One of the other girls that works there, lets call her Wanda, is less ridiculous but calls me with jobs that are even more ass-out. Such as, serving cafeteria-style banquets. At 5 a.m. Tomorrow. For $7 an hour and no tips. Thanks but no.


Blogger BonQueesha said...

I had 2 agencies do me like that One I just stopped hearign from and the other kept calling my sister's phone no matter how many goddamn times I told them my number; they would leave her a message about some fabulous opportunity they had for me except they couldn't ever tell me the name of the company, or where it was even when I called back... I say try some different ones if there are any more around there

Also, I hate when people use the phrase 'touch base' Maybe cause they're really saying 'I'm going to pretend to act like I care what you do because technically that's my job, but I'm not going to actually commit to helping you or being otherwise useful, and actually I was hoping you wouldn't even answer your phone but since you did here's some bullshit' Or maybe I always read too much into these things...

7:19 PM  

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